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I did not know anyone who was gay. I had never even heard of the word bisexual. I had never thought of experiencing anything sexual with a guy.Despite this, I found myself very, very interested. To my surprise, I found myself turned on. While the visual image of his hard on is still memorable to me, I remember nothing of the conversation except for how it ended.I invited him to our private thatch hut room that evening. It was clear that the invitation was for a sexual experience.Since I had no previous idea that I could be turned on by a male hard-on, I obviously had never discussed this with Joan.When I saw her about 30 minutes later, I said something like, ”you will not believe what just happened.” While we had been going together for less than a year, we had talked about sexual fantasy. My sexual fantasy always involved another woman, but not another man. When I told her of the invitation I had made, she was immediately receptive, which only turned me on more.We agreed to a plan.. ”“Why did she hurt me that way?” I said as tears began streaming down my face.“Good,” Doctor Hart said. “Emotion is good. Let it out, Mike.”I started sobbing uncontrollably, and curled into a tight ball, hugging a pillow as if it were a life preserver. I wasn’t quite sure how long it was before I got control of my emotions again, but eventually I reached over to the nightstand and pulled several tissues from the box. I dabbed my eyes and blew my nose several times, then sat up.“Ready to talk?” Doctor Hart asked.“I guess,” I sighed.“First of all, I think you’ll be OK now. Your young lady friends said you were acting like a zombie, but zombies don’t cry.”“I just don’t understand why she would do something that would hurt me so badly.”“Mike, you’re having sex with several different young women. Why hold Jocelyn to a different standard?”“That’s not it!” I protested vehemently. “It’s that she sent me those picture intending to hurt me!”“You’re sure you can judge her intent from three.
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